How Humor Will Improve Your Communication Skills

By: Leila Escandar

Do you consider yourself a positive person?

Given the events of the past twelve months, I doubt anyone can easily answer that. How about this—do you consider yourself a funny person? I think many people reading this article will veer towards a yes. What is it about dark times that make us strive for humor? Why is it if we don’t laugh, we cry, and why do we feel so in tune with that saying? Is comedy just another iteration of positivity? Or is comedy another iteration of comedy that does so much more than just brighten a moment?

“It’s so easy to be on time, you just have to be early and early last for hours and on time just lasts a second. And then you’re late…forever.”

— Mike Birbiglia

When I first heard this hilarious Mike Birbiglia joke about Late People maybe five years ago, it resonated with me. I grew up with a mother who is keen on punctuality, a woman who has probably spent a horrifying amount of time over the course of her marriage waiting in the car for my father— a textbook late person, in an effort to get him out the door earlier.

Park Slope baristas understand the fundamental basics of communication skills by adding humor to their tip jars.
[PHOTO-Leila Escandar]

 I, unfortunately, adopted my father’s habits when it comes to timeliness. However, when the reality of being consistently late to things was laid out in front of me so hilariously by Birbiglia, it was impossible not to react. It certainly resonated with me more than any other criticism I heard on my lack of punctuality over the course of my life.  It really made me wonder—why did I find this so funny?

The answer lies within the idea that comedy is an incredibly powerful tool and does not exist just for the sake of entertainment. Comedy not only makes you happier and healthier, but it also can dramatically help improve communication, new social situations, and building relationships. 

The science behind this is not exact. There is evidence however that comedy has been able to approve communications both in the workplace and in people's social lives. The power of comedy has been said to be highly impactful on emotions and powerful for influencing others. It is encouraged to be used in situations that require breaking down social barriers, entering complex social solutions, and generally just a great way for people to express themselves and have a good time in the process.

What is it about comedy that helps break the ice or mend a communication breakdown?  Is it making yourself the class clown of your office or friend group?   Is it that you should be loud, crude, and rude with unintelligent jokes to become the center of attention?

No. It is the idea that laughter connects us to others because it physically decreases stress in our bodies and boosts endorphins in our brains to make us more comfortable in a situation. Be it interacting with new people, giving a presentation in a room full of colleagues or strangers, or needing to speak truth to a difficult reality, comedy is the unsung hero of communicating. 

A great example of the power of comedy in communication can be found in the ways stand-up comedians have used their platform to enlighten Americans about issues that so many people would rather discuss through a Twitter feud. In 2018, Michelle Wolf’s White House Correspondents Dinner remarks comedically pointed out the glaring flaws and lack of communications ethics in modern-day media. Wolf said things like, “We got our friends at CNN here, welcome guys, it’s great to have you. You guys love breaking news and you did it; you broke it.” and ending with the very powerful “Flint still doesn’t have clean water!”.

Two years later, in the current season of SNL, both Chris Rock and Dave Chapelle echoed  Wolf’s viewpoints by expressing ideas that no matter the outcome of the 2020 United States Presidential Election is, things in America still aren’t going to change unless we all start putting more effort into changing them.

“The reality is that job satisfaction, your outlook, your way of managing stress is entirely your responsibility and is the choice that you make. And this is a skill of humor.”

— Andrew Tarvin

Luckily, like anything else, humor is a skill that can be learned. In his Ted Talk from 2017 “The Skill of Humor,” Andrew Tarvin breaks down the value of humor and offers pointers on how to improve your own humor and improv skills. Tarvin emphasizes, “It starts by sharing your point of view, and then we explore and heighten that point of view. And we yes-and both our work and our life, and finally, we practice, perform, and repeat, because that's how we get better.” 

When we think about improving our communication skills, we often focus on the fundamentals.  Things like speaking well, writing well, and being professional all heavy hitters in being a successful communicator, but we often forget that humor can be used as a very valuable item in the communications toolbox. If we spend a few minutes a day thinking about how to improve our humor skills, it will help improve all of the other communication skills we are more focused on, because it ultimately makes you a better and easier person to be around. 

About the Author

Leila Escandar is a writer of all things, including (but not limited to) blog posts, copy, academic papers, creative non-fiction, poetry, novel-length text messages, witty Instagram captions, and sometimes purely useless information. She currently resides in Brooklyn, NY, and is an almost-alumni of Brooklyn College.